Reading and Comprehension obviously aren't in the job requirements for sales and marketing people

I want to go on the record as saying I hate salesmen. Not just external ones - internal ones as well. Marketing people are worse. Sales & Marketing people are the absolute worst of the bunch.

I work for $COMPANY which does a fair bit of functionality with audio and video - anything from web clips to broadcast grade. We take clients content, do some magic on it, and send results back to them (yeah, I know that is a vague description, but putting in details could possibly identify $COMPANY).

$COMPANY runs an SFTP server for clients to deliver certain content to us. Said SFTP server is only accessible with a 2048 bit key paid - no interactive logins, no usernames and passwords, as tight as I can possibly make it. I generate and maintain the key pairs, including a pretty aggressive lockout policy.

Every new client $COMPANY picks up needs an account on said SFTP server to provide their content to us. Pretty simply - $S&M_Guy sends a helpdesk request, ticket gets auto-generated, I create key pair and send reply saying "Have someone from $CLIENT contact me to arrange for delivery of their half of the key".

Now, bear in mind, I'm a pretty paranoid bastard, and I will not - I absolutely, flat out refuse - to send half an SSH key pair attached to an email as plain text. No way, No how. My usual method it to put it in a password protected ZIP file - with the client picking the password and telling me.

So yesterday, $S&M_Guy sends in a helpdesk ticket "Please create SFTP site for XXX". I do the needful and send the usual ticket note saying "Please have someone from XXX contact me so I can arrange delivery of the key"

Nothing. Nada. Zip.

This morning, I get another helpdesk ticket (because, of course, actually just adding a note to the existing one is too hard" which reads

Please let me know when the SFTP account for XXX will be ready

I delete the duplicate ticket (What's the point of being the SysGod if you can't break a few rules now and again?") and re-notate the existing ticket saying "Site ready, please have someone from XXX contact me to arrange delivery of the key". I even go to the trouble of sending a direct email to $S&M_Guy saying the same thing in case Jira is, you know, dyslexic or something and isn't delivering ticket updates.

Come back from lunch to find another helpdesk ticket reading

Please let me know when SFTP site for XXX will be ready. This is now urgent

My reply isn't going to be pretty.

'Dis gon be gud!

Edit:

So, $S&M_Guy finally got a clue and forwarded my details to $CLIENT, I got a reply from the client which basically said "We haven't even signed the contract yet, we'll get back to you once the agreement is finalised".

Rip, shit and bust to get this "urgent" config setup, and the other end isn't even ready.

Every. Fucking. Time. FML.

-User HeadacheCentral on Reddit

Source: http://www.reddit.com/r/talesfromtechsupport/comments/3b1avn/reading_and_comprehension_obviously_arent_in_the/

OMG I cannot begin to count how many times I have had incidents to this. Our ticket system is set up so that all you have to do is reply to the last email you got from the system about your ticket (Depending on settings, you get one when it is created and anytime someone comments on the ticket by default.) and it automatically adds the comment to the ticket so IT sees it and can read it. This allows us to properly track what has happened with the ticket as it goes along all in one spot.