Tales of IT

This was originally posted to 4Chan, and is still one of my fave feeds ever. It is a guy's first 41 days at an IT job where his dad works. I am not sure on who the original poster was.

Laptop Flop, Part 3

Sacramento, CA, USA

(Go to the site to see the other parts. They are all separate stories.)

Me: “Hello, thank you for calling [store]! How may I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, my laptop that I bought from you guys a while ago got stolen. I need to get a copy of my receipt for insurance purposes.”

Me: “Okay, no problem! What I need is the cred—”

Customer: “What I’m going to give you is my name and phone number, and you see what you can find with that.”

Me: “Ma’am, when we do receipt lookups, it’s processed at the register. I need you to bring in the card you paid with, and the UPC or item number of the laptop, if you happened to save those off the box.”

Customer: “I don’t have any of that.”

Me: “Well, do you have one of our rewards cards?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Err… could you tell me what kind of laptop it was?”

Customer: “I ALREADY SAID THAT!”

Me: “If you did, I didn’t hear it ma’am. What was it?”

Customer: “I already said it. But it was… tah-shibbia? Or… Toshi-bai-bah or something.”

Me: “Toshiba.”

(I wait for the customer to supply more information about the laptop, but she’s silent.)

Me: “…and the model number?”

Customer: “I DON’T HAVE THAT!”

Me: “Well, ma’am, I really need at least that information so I could look up an item number. How about the month you purchased the laptop; do you have that?”

Customer: “What month is this? Well, it isn’t April yet. So this month must be March. I bought it in November. Maybe it was around my birthday. Like if I bought myself a birthday present! Yeah, that must’ve been it.”

(I wait for the customer to tell me when her birthday is.)

Customer: “Anyway, you see what you can find with that, and call me back.”

Me: “Ma’am, as I said before, I need to know what kind of lapt—”

Customer: “No, look it up with my name. And if you can’t find it, you call me back and tell me exactly what you need, and I’ll get it for you.”

Source: http://notalwaysright.com/laptop-flop-part-3/31188

He is a computer expert so he is obviously a hacker and should have been able to get all her information without her having to give it to him, right? That or she thought he must be some super human telepath, or have an insane computer that can just find stuff like Google seems to be able to do. 

Or she is just an idiot that doesn't get that stores don't always store all your info. Often it is just the receipt/transaction number, the item upcs, and prices.

Laptop Flop, Part 2

Laptop Flop, Part 2

Tampa, FL, USA

(Go to the site to see the other parts. They are all separate stories.)

(I work in a technology help desk fixing computers. A preteen girl brings in her laptop. The entire left side is damaged, and quite badly.)

Girl: “My laptop isn’t working and I don’t know why.”

Me: “Well, it may have to do with the damage on the side.”

Girl: “What damage?”

Me: “The entire left side of your laptop is smashed up.”

Girl: *surprised* “Oh! When did that happen?”

Me: “Have you dropped it recently?”

Girl: “Well, yeah, I’m really klutzy, so I tend to drop it out of my car when I go to school.”

Me: “Okay. Well, we can take a look at it and try to fix it for you so your laptop works again. In the future, try not to drop your laptop so much.”

Girl: “Oh, is it bad to drop it a lot?”

Source: v

Vacation Crime

ME, USA

(I work for a computer repair shop which gets a lot of work orders from a big company because we’re nearby and are known for how fast we repair units. We also use receipts for orders that are being picked up by others.)

Customer: “Hey, I’m here to pick up a computer for [Supervisor].”

Me: “Do you have the repair receipt for their computer?”

Customer: “No, just use my ID.” *shows me work ID*

Me: “Unfortunately, sir, I’m not allowed to give you any computer without a receipt due to security reasons.”

Customer: *suddenly very angry* “Look! I’m an executive at [Big Company]. I can pick up as many computer orders as I want! Just shut up and do your **** job and give me [Supervisor]’s computer!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. But regardless of who you are, I cannot give you any computer without a receipt.”

(The door jingle goes off, meaning another customer has come into the shop.)

Customer: “That’s it! I’m gonna have your a** fired, you incompetent f***! I’ve never been treated so rudely!”

Me: “Well, I hate to repeat myself but again, we’re not allo—”.”

(At this point I notice a police officer and security guard from [Big Company] standing behind the man.)

Customer: *practically yelling at this point* “What?! Not allowed to give me [Supervisor]’s computer?! Well, I’ll –”

Police Officer: “Mr. [Customer]. You’re under arrest for attempted robbery.”

(The customer turns around to see the two men, and makes a break for the door only to be tackled in seconds and taken away by the police officer.)

Security Guard: “Can you believe that guy? He quit and threatened to steal [Supervisor]’s computer all because he didn’t get the vacation time he wanted.”

Source: http://notalwaysright.com/vacation-crime/39053

Maybe He Was Looking for a Raspberry Pi

ME, USA

(I own my own little computer repair shop, and lease it in a building next door to a restaurant. Though it is rare, I do sometimes get people who come into my shop by mistake looking for the restaurant because it offers to order out its food, and often this problem is resolved by me giving them directions to next door. My shop is very much so obviously a computer repair shop with only a desk to drop of your computer and a few displays with replacement parts. I am behind the drop off desk checking which order to work on next, when a customer comes in.)

Me: “Oh, hi there. Here to pick up an order?”

Customer: “Yup, I had a order for Ted.”

Me: *I look up my database and find no orders for Ted.* “Umm, is it perhaps under any other name, or last name?”

Customer: “No, I definitely put it under Ted.”

Me: “Hmm, well what did you get done on your system? Maybe I can find it that way?”

Customer: “Oh I ordered a large pepperoni, well done, with some hot wings.”

Me: “You mean, like the food?”

Customer: “…duh! You work in a restaurant. What do you think is here?”

Me: “No, as you can see…” *I point around my shop* “I run a small computer repair shop.”

Customer: “Don’t give me that bull-s***! I’m the husband of the owner and if you don’t get me my order I’ll have you fired!”

(I am amused by this, because since we’ve been neighbors for a few years I know for sure the owner of the restaurant is indeed a woman, but is also a same sex couple with her partner.)

Me: “Really now? I heard she and her husband broke up.”

Customer: “No, we didn’t. We’re a loving man and wife. Now get me my d*** food, now!”

Me: “Sorry. I just can’t do that. It goes against my policies.”

Customer: “I want to speak to your manager, now!”

(I call the restaurant and ask if the owner could come over real quick. She does.)

Owner: “What seems to be—” *comes in and stops almost immediately. at the sight of the customer.*

Customer: “You’re not the manager of [Restaurant]. You’re just the stupid c*** that thinks you’re clever. I wanna speak to the owner, now!

Owner: “For the last time, you stupid dolt, this is not [Other Restaurant]. Stop coming to my store and yelling at my employees and customers!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but you’ll have to leave now.”

Customer: “Screw this s***! You’re all stupid f***s! You can all go to h***! I’ll never eat at [Other Restaurant] again! I’ll have your jobs, too!”

(Both Owner and I were left dumbfounded by the stupidity of this customer. Lucky for me, though, I got a free sandwich for having to deal with the stupid dolt!)

Source: http://notalwaysright.com/maybe-he-was-looking-for-a-raspberry-pi/40570

VHS No Longer Computes

Sweden

Customer: “I’ve got a broken computer and I need it fixed.”

(The customer proceeds to open a bag and out comes a old VHS player.)

Me: “Sir, that is not a computer. That is a VHS tape player.”

Customer: “Well, my PC is broken and I was hoping that you could fix it.”

Me: “Sir, that is not a PC. That’s a VHS tape player and there is no repair shop for VHS players around anymore, as they are deemed outdated.”

Customer: “Well, where can I find one?”

Me: “You can’t. You will have to buy a new one.”

Customer: “So, you can’t repair it?”

Me: “No.”

Customer: “I heard great service from my friends when they came here to fix their PC.”

Me: “That is not a PC. That is a VHS player that you are holding in your hands.”

Customer: “So, can you fix it?”

Source: http://notalwaysright.com/vhs-no-longer-computes/42382

Silly IT Customers

Lately I have been reading funny stories regarding IT staff dealing with clients, and thought it would be fun to share some. I will do my best to include the source for each story, and I hope you go to the sites they are from and view more of the amazing stories they have listed. I will post each one in a separate post over the next few weeks. I hope these provide you as much entertainment as they did for me.